And the beat goes on....

Most of you know that all my scans and bloodwork came back perfect from MDAnderson. Stan and I went for four days the week after Thanksgiving. Bottom line is this: no cancer is evident anywhere in my body at this time and I have been taken off all cancer fighting medication. It has been almost a month now and I can tell that my swelling is going away and my overall color is getting better. I am so tired of writing about cancer. So, I'm just gonna say that I am cancer free and like my oncologist told me "now we just hope and pray!" So, please keep my health in your prayers! It may never come back! That is my hope and prayer... I want to write now about mine and Stan's time in Houston. This time of year downtown Houston where the medical center is, is a pretty place. Lots of Christmas decor and there is just a special feeling in the air and everyone seems to be extra happy. The hustle and bustle of the holiday season is very evident. There is still a muggy feeling in the air down there, but there is also a crispness. When Stan and I go there we hate being away from our kids, but we try and enjoy our time together as much as we can. There is a lot of waiting around and down time between appointments. I usually roam around the hospital and Stan hangs out in the room watching Fox News. Where we stay is a beautiful fancy hotel, so I am distracted and entertained by the nice bellhop and have gotten to know a lot of the staff on a first name basis. They are so very kind. I enjoy listening to the live piano player in the lobby and have even gotten some laughs at some "older" people singing karaoke ! I'm telling you , cancer patients live life to the fullest! This trip, however, Stan and I did some Christmas shopping. There is a big Toys r Us close to the medical center and I always go there and buy Cole a "prize." Makes me sad to go there because it makes me miss him something awful! I also have recently discovered Rice village. We love walking around there and shopping too. This trip, we were so anxious waiting for my appointment to get test results! We are always anxious, but with all the Christmastime stuff around me it seemed to be worse. I told Stan I had to get out and walk around. Outside! So, we went to Herman Park across the street from the hotel and walked around. It's such a beautiful park. Trees so tall they cover your view of the sky! For a brief few minutes I forgot why we were there. Just walking and watching the squirrels running around. Amazed at how oblivious they are to where they are. They are just looking for a nut. We also discovered a new restraunt this time. It was the coolest restraunt I've ever been too. And I've been to ALOT!!! Ha It was an old restored two story house right down the street from the hospital. It looks like an old house just sitting in the middle of all these tall skyscrapers. We walked through the doors and it was like walking back in time. The owners are Italian and were just beautiful people. I think they lived upstairs. It was so warm and cozy in there. Fancy, but yet homey. All the pasta was homemade and everything was just perfect. We were even seranaded by the Italian grandpa of the house playing the guitar and signing to us in his little three piece suit. For a moment, I was able to forget that three blocks down was where my life was about to change in a building that has 40,000 employees. It was just me and my Stan...... The whole world we left outside... We even went back there the next night to celebrate my good news:) I want to ask that you all pray for my sweet Stan. He has been my oxygen through all this. I know it's gotta be so hard to watch your wife go through all this mess... I can't even imagine. He has never once complained about any of it. It's cost us so much financially but he has always provided and I've never had to do without any treatment or doctor that I wanted. I am just really grateful for my Stan. We had an unbelievable Christmas and now, as I start 2013 without any meds I honestly can say I'm a little anxious about it. This is the first time in almost four years I've been medicine free. So, I'm trusting..... I'm gonna just live and try really hard to not think about tomorrow... I'm just living in the day.... I am so grateful for you all. I love my family so much and I have the most amazing friends. So, here's to a cancer free year!!! Thank you God for my health, my husband, my kids, my parents , my sister, my Sammy, and my nephew and nieces and all of my extended family. And bless my doctors and nurses. I love all of you who read this Still a survivor- Kristi

150 Coffee filters and an unanswered question

Hello family, friends and prayer warriors.........Tomorrow Stan and I leave for MDAnderson for my checkup. This checkup is a big deal........well, they all are a big deal, but, there is ALOT that could change after this one, for the better.....Every three months when I go to Houston they do a CTSCAN of my liver, chest and adominal area. So far, as you know, those have all been clear for a year now and I am still cancer free!! Praise God. This time I will have the CTSCAN plus I will have a PETSCAN. A PETSCAN is a test I have had three times in the past 3 and half years. But, I haven't had one since July 2011. This test involves me being injected with radioactive stuff and getting into the tunnell. If there is any cancer in my body it will glow on these tests........We are doing this PETSCAN because I have now completed all my treatments I was supposed to do after my liver surgery in Oct 2011. This is just to make sure I am still cancer free from head to toe. If I am, I will go off all medicine and get to give my body a break. whew!!!! If I am not, then that's a whole different story. But, we are not anticipating a problem because my bloodwork and tumor markers have been perfect now for a whole year. They check my tumor markers every three weeks here in Abilene. Tumor markers aren't used on everyone, but the first thing that alerted us last time the monster came back was my tumor markers went up. So, I am lucky that my body responds with tumor markers when the cancer is present. So, pray for me and Stan to have safe travel and of course for good results. Pray for my kids while I am away from them. Now, about those coffee filters.........hmm........Every morning I wake up I make the coffee. My coffee and coffee filters are in a cabinet above my oven. I have to tip toe to reach them because I am short:) Anyway, a few months ago as I was reaching for them I noticed on the package it said "count 150." Which meant, the full package had orignally contained 150 filters. I had just bought them about a week before. I remember thinking to myself, as a lot of us cancer patients do, "I wonder if I will be here to use all these?" So, every morning I would think about that as I made coffee. Crazy, yeah, I know, but its how my chemo brain works;) So, a couple of days ago I used the last coffee filter!!!! I made it 150 days! It made me realize how much I think about the future. I worried so much about not being here for Cole's first day of kindergarten and yet, here we are almost to Christmas break!! God has been so good to me. I am really trying to live in each day, but, as a mom sometimes it is hard. So, I bought me another package of coffee filters, but this time I bought 700!! HAHAHAH;) Also, since I wrote last, I have been blessed with being able to speak publicly twice with my testimony. This is so healing for me and I really feel The Holy Spirit when I do this. I have had to accept alot of unacceptable things through this cancer. But, there is one thing I will never understand..........And that is why do little kids have to get cancer? My community lost another ten year old child to this monster yesterday. I follow two other little girls that are fighitng this...One is winning and one is not. My heart breaks for these families. I can not even imagine. SO, when you pray form me please pray for these children. Pray for healing for them. Pray for no pain or sickness with their treatments. I will update next week with my results. I love everyone who reads this. Be blessed!

That crazy Mom peeking through the window?.......yep, thats me!

Cole started kindergarten. We are now on day three of the new chapter in our lives. Oh...........I am so tired of having to start new chapters.......but, that is what life is..........all about the "changing" and "adapting", but, gosh darn it........I want time to stand still!!!!! Day one of kindergarten was not good, to be honest. I started thinking as I was waking my baby boy up at six a.m. that maybe I should have put him in some sort of "mother's day out" or somehting before this big ol step!!! geezzzzzz..........So, I wake him up and he's tired, crying not wanting to go. After all, he's used to sleeping until 9:30 everyday.........But, we make it and I walk him into his class first day.........As I am putting his back pack in his "cubby" and making sure his lunch box is on the appropriate table, I look at him and he is pale..........."Mommy, I think I am gonna throw up. I need water." oh dear, please don't let my child throw up in front of all the other kids on the first day........So, we go out to the water fountain and he gets a drink. He's all better now, and I take him to his desk. His awesome, fantastic, beautiful teacher comes over and hugs him and assures him what he is supposed to be doing......I hug my baby and tell him I will be back soon. And then I walk out of the room....my legs feel like they are weighted down with at least ten pounds each..............I can't look back at him because if I do I am gonna sweep him up in my arms and run out of there as fast as I can and go home and start educating myself on homeschool........He is where he needs to be. And I know this. But, why does it feel like I am throwing him into the ocean??? He is now going to have to learn how to take turns, get in a line, raise his little hand, ask to go to the bathroom, eat when it's time, ....and the list goes on and on... That first day goes by soooooooo slow............I can't wait until three o'clock!!!!! I try and keep busy and even make myself sleep to make it go by faster.......At three I go pick him up. Amazingly, he is all in one piece!!!! He is smiling.........he is happy. All that matters is this: he's happy. Thank you Lord for Mrs. Powell. She has to have wings under her shirt I just know it. But, that night, at bedtime he starts crying not wanting to go back the next day......oh dear. So, me and Stan listen to him with our hearts breaking knowing that this will pass...........but, gosh, he's been through so much. Why can't he just be okay???? Second morning we get up. Lots easier this time.....He is ready to go!!! I make sure he has everything in his backpack: folder with the check mark in the appropriate spot to show teacher I saw it; lunch box; snack; water bottle with name written in sharpie with a heart; and then we load up and head back to the building where he will spend the next nine months of his life. Second day goes very well, not a problem at all..I pick him up after school and he's all smiles again and proud he was chosen to be "line leader." .......but, day THREE is a different story. So, on day three the school changes the routine.........oh, that stupid changy thing again!!! Instead of walking kids to their class we are now instructed to drop them off at at the cafeteria and their teacher will get them to their class. So, I have to explain to my little child, who hates change, what we are gonna do. We arrive at the cafeteria promptly this morning and I am just in awe at the number of kiddos in there. Now, you would think that I wouldn't be in awe at all........after all, I was an elementary school teacher at this same school system for many years and know the routine of how it all works. But, the ineveitable has finally happened........I am NOW ONE OF THOSE MOMS ME AND MY OTHER TEACHER FRIENDS USED TO MAKE FUN OF!!!!. oh karma!!! you always show up!!! hahahah Well, I get Cole to the correct seating line on the cafeteria floor with his class. Then I gingerly walk to the front of the room and turn around and watch him. I begin talking to a friend I see and then she leaves like we are supposed to. I am standing there watching all the kiddos.I am thinking how precious they all are. Cole waves at me or gives me a "tumbs up" about every 60 seconds. I realize that I am the only Mom left. So, I wave a final goodbye to my love and walk out the door. I can tell by his eyes that he is concerned and then I see him looking for Mrs. Powell. So, I leave the building...........MOMMY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!!! I am sure many were glad. As I am walking down the sidewalk I notice the little windows to the cafeteria. I ponder a moment; should I take a peek? hmmmmmm.........yeah, I go ahead. I cup my hands around my face and peak in. I am looking frantically at the back of all the little heads and don't see Cole's. Oh dear...........where is he? Finally, I see his little striped backpack and lock in on him. He is fine. I decide I am crazy! As I am about to step back, in a split second he turns his head around and sees me!!! OH DEAR!!!!! Our eyes lock and I panic. Now, mind you, there are about 200 kids or more in this cafeteria and about ten windows. And darn the luck.........he sees me!!! I continue to stand there having to keep my hands cupped because of the sun and up on my tiptoes. I know now at this point I can't just leave. He keeps turning his head and looking like every 20 seconds. He's waving big time and I feel like I am about to get sent to the principal's office. I put my finger up to my lips and make the "Shhhh" signal and he winks at me. Now we have a secret. Which makes him continue to look even more. Several parents walk by and I know they are thinking I am a stalking, crazy , Nut!!!! But, I can't leave until he does. So, I stand there with my face planted up against the glass for a solid FIFTEEN minutes! Mrs. Powell sees me and tries to pretend she doesn't. As do many of the other teachers. I can only imagine what I would have been thinking about this mother when I was teaching. So, finally they get up and line up and walk out. My little man turns one last time and gives me the "thumbs up" as if to make me feel okay for once. I then walk to my car and get in and bawl like a baby. Cancer or no cancer..........this is tough!!!!! I have found myself wandering the aisles of the grocery store crying because I miss him. I keep looking back at his booster seat while I am driving and realize he is at school. He's growing up and I am adjusting. I miss him. Letting go is so very hard. So, that is where we are. I am a nut and Cole is a kindergartner and Mrs. Powell is the new love of his life. And Mrs. Powell is a gem for letting me be one crazy mommy!!!!! I love all of you!!

The ugly door

Stan and I got back from Houston almost two weeks ago and as most of you know ALL my reports are still PERFECT!!! Thank you Jesus.........I feel like I am the luckiest girl on the planet. Well, I know I am. We were at MDA only for two nights this time. They actually did tests and doctor visit all in one day this time. This was really nice because I started my testing at 7:00 a.m. and we knew results by 2:00 p.m. I had a horrible time getting an i.v. this round. Not sure why......and the actual scan I cried through the whole thing.(the whole "breathe in.............breath out" instructions given to me by the machine was done via tears streaming down my face. So glad I didn't have on mascara! I had the best doctor and nurse in there with me though and they were so sweet and kind. When we went to see doctor at 1:00 p.m. to get results he came in the room through the big old ugly door that I so desperaley hate!!! I hate that door!!! I know its just a piece of wood, but, Stan and I always sit on one side and just stare at it.Our waiting time in the little bitty room to hear the news is a really tough time. I usually start nosing around in the all the cabinets (cause I can't be still)I always take the insturments off the wall and look in Stan's ears and nose!! crazy huh? The walls are so thick that our phones won't work. So, we read all the posters on the wall...........I usually go out to the hall a couple of times. I am such a detailed person that even when I am changing into those horrible robes out of my clothes to be examined I think to myself "Now, when I put these clothes BACK on I will know if I am still good or not." And I fold them real neatly and lay them on the bench in dressing area as if that will change the outcome. Just really pure insanity. ha! Knowing that when the ugly door opens everything will be really good or really bad..........kind of like that game show where you say , "I pick door number 1." Knowing not what is behind it. But, this time when Dr. Valero came through the door he had not looked at my reports yet because it was so soon since I did them. So, he listened to the dictation the doctor had recorded to be printed right in front of us. Of course, Stan couldn't hear it and I had no idea what the words meant that the doctor was saying on the recording. It took Dr. Valero about ten minutes to listen to the whole thing. The doctor on the recording kept saying in a foreign accent the word "colon." That is really all the word I could pick out he was saying with his heavy accent. I was freaking out!!! But, after he said it about the tenth time and then said also the word "period" I realized, to my delight, that he was saying it as punctuation for the person who would have been transcribing it to paper..........Thank the Lord for my English teaching skills.........cause I was about to pass out thinking it had spread to my colon!!!! So, after Dr. Valero turned it off he looked at me and said ,"you are in remission. you are good." He hugged me real tight and tears were streaming down my face. I look at Stan and I see a weight literally lifted off his face and shoulders. We listen to the doctor as he tells me we will continue with this proactive treatment I am on until December. Then we will do scans of whole body and if all still good I will get off all medicine!!!!!!! I go change back into my nealty folded clothes and we leave through the now beautiful door!!!!! I text my immediate peeps( mom, dad, amy, sammy, jeff) and we head out of there!!!! So, here I am again getting to write wonderful news.........I am just in awe of God's grace and mercy He has granted me because I don't deserve it. None of us do. I realized over the past week how really hard all this must be on my husband. My beautiful, strong, Stan worries more than he tells me. Actually, he never tells me or leads me to believe for one second that he worries. But, when I saw his face change after doctor told me I was in remission I realized it. I don't know how any one that watches their loved one go through this roller coaster of hell does it. So, I ask that you pray for my Stan. Pray for my Mom and Dad and my sister and my children. I am learning to truly live in the moment and some days it is really difficult. But, I am so grateful for my family and friends and all of you who read my blog. Pray for my little Cole as he starts Kindergarten in a couple weeks. He asked me the other day, "Why do people even have to go to school?' I said, "So, when you grow up you can get a job and take care of your family." He replied, "Well, ...........my wife might have a job." I said, "Yes, she might," He then said, "I think I will just be a stay at home Dad." hahahaha. oh this little guy is so funny. I told him "Well, you let me know how that works out for ya!" And my beautiful Allie will be a Junior in high school!!! I just can't believe it! And my sweet Hannah will be a sophomore!!! Pray for them to remain strong in their faith as they enter these years of important decisions. So, now I am looking forward to getting back into the routine of being involved in an elementary school. It's been awhile, but I am so grateful that I will be able to. And be able to while I feel good!!!! Life is so short people............enjoy every minute. I do have bad days, don't think for one second that my life is all positive, but in those horrible days I look at my kids and know that I am still here for them. I look at my Stan and know that he needs me. I look at my parents and sister and know that the story isn't over. We are a family and we are gonna keep on going and enjoy every stinking minute!!!!! NO MATTER WHAT!! I love all of you who read.......................still a survivor-kristi

every day is a gift

just wanted to update everyone on our journey. I am doing good. Dr. Melnyk checks my tumor markers every three weeks and so far, they are still normal. Praise God!!!That is a miracle you guys.............To God be the glory!!!! I am still doing an i.v. treatment every three weeks. It takes one and half hours to get the unfusion, about an hour to see the doc, so I'm usually there at total of 3-4 hours every third monday. My Dad goes with me and sits with me every time. I am feeling okay. I still struggle with hot flashes and this heat is not helping and I honeslty, still struggle somedays with that big four letter word FEAR! I guess I always will. I try and make the MOST of everyday. I have to be doing something constantly because if I sit still long enough my mind starts racing and I go to a pretty dark place. So, we stay really busy around here. Cole is getting ready to start kindergarten in August and, as he told Allie when she asked him if he was getting excited about starting school, he replied........... "I'm not going to kindergarten.".....hmmmmm .........He went to art camp for two days and it was a struggle. It was just for three hours a day, but he didn't want me leaving him. He didn't throw a "fit", just would have tears streaming down his little face as I would leave and tell me he was "gonna miss me." Needless to say, I ended up staying at the last day of art camp (: They needed help anyway. Ha! But, I won't be able to stay at kindergarten. And he knows this........He asked if I could just be the "lunch lady?" His little mind is working overtime. So........ he is having a hard time. He has really become very clingy to me in the past month. Some days it is almost unbearable because it breaks my heart when he does this. I physically hurt in my chest. As a Mom dealing with the monster of cancer, to hear your child "need" you and cry for you is one million times harder than a mom that is healthy. Because the devil always puts that fear in my head that says "what if you are not here one day and he needs you?" It is a horrible horrible feeling and I honestly struggle with this more than I show anyone. That is why this blog has been so good for me. I can vent. So, when you pray for me,........... don't. Pray for my children. I don't want to say, "pray that they don't need me" but, if you are a mom with cancer you will know what I'm talking about. And if you are a healthy mom, I hope you never have to know this. It's so cliche, but don't take a minute with your babies for granted!! We took our children, along with my parents, to the beach and had a great time. It was so nice to spend time with Cole on the ocean shore. And just hang out with my girls on the beach and their friends. I know how lucky I am............I know how much grace and mercy the Father has shown me and I am so very very grateful. I just try to live in the moment and help other moms that are struggling with illness. God seems to always put them in my path and I believe that is why He has spared me thus far. So, that is where we are. Just taking it all one day at a time, literally, and enjoying each moment. I go back to Houston the first week of August. I will update you all again after that apt. Somdays I can't believe how far we have come. And other days I find myself actually "forgetting" that it can all change in a split second. Some days I feel like I am just always one test away from another reaccurance. I know that sounds like I am not positive. I am positive, it just is all overwhelming sometimes to actually look back at what all I have put my body through and realize I am sill here and able to actually have a normal day at all. I actually feel fairly good physically. I have develped what I think is probably like arthirits from all the chemo. But, I am controlling that with meds. But, other than that, I am so far from where I was last summer. Anyhow, I just want to tell you all that I love you. I appreciate all the prayers more than you could ever know. Keep them coming!!! Love your kids, spend time with them, let things go, forgive each other, love the unlovable, help people, stay in your Bible, love your spouse and support them. I love you Jesus! And it all because of You that I am here. I am a lucky girl...........kristi- still a survivor!!!!!! I love all of you that read this.........

Relay for Life...........and another free pass

Just to update everyone..............Stan and I got back from Houston on Wednesday. We were there for four long days again. And after all the testing and meeting with doctors I can say that I am still CACNCER FREE!so, I am planning on having a good summer with my kids! They havent had a summer with me in almost three years! So, we are gonna play and have fun all summer loonnnng. I don't go back to Houston again until August! I will still be doing an i.v. treatment of Herceptin once every three weeks and will be taking five pills a day. Doctors took me off the chemo pills that make me feel so bad. I am so glad I get a break from those!! Stan and I were blessed again at MDA with all the people we met and he and I have a lot of bonding time there. He is my best friend. I don't know how he puts up with all my fear and mood swings, but he does. God bless him...........And thanks also to my mom, dad and Jeff. I would not be able to go if I didn't know you all had my babies in your care! Also, I am so thankful I participated in Relay for Life this year! What a blessing that was! I think I had the biggest group there. You have no idea how elated I felt walking that survivor lap with my friend Lin! And coming around the track and seeing my "team" of people was like the best feeling ever. I love each of you so much!Thank you for taking time out of your busy lives to come spend the evening with me! It means more than you will ever know. Thanks for being there for my speech! I felt so honored to be asked to share my story and it was amazing to get up there and tell it. I have never felt that feeling before. I was not nervous one bit. I felt the Holy Spirit in a way I never have. And if I gave just one person hope then my goal was achieved! So, I now have been given another "free" pass from God. I intend to use it well. I know He expects great things from me. And I ask for His guidance everyday and finding out what I am supposed to do for Him. I pray each of you have a fantastic summer and enjoy EVERY MINUTE with your families. I know I say that all the time, but I hope you really let it sink in and do it!!!! Life is so fragile. So once again, I am on my knees thanking Jesus Christ my Lord and Redeemer. Thank you Father! I don't deserve Your mercy. I love each of you dearly...................love love love

One funeral, one wedding and a hate/love relationship with........Spring!

Spring has always been my favorite time of year. Ever since I was a little girl. Not sure why. Maybe it is the change that takes place from everything being dead and coming back to life again. Maybe it is the uncertainty of the weather. I have always been fascinated by thunderstorms and when I was little was really scared of them. My first memory of a "tornado warning" is of my Dad and Mom putting my sister and me in the closet in the middle of the night with a mattress over us. I remember having no idea what was gonig on. My Dad stayed outside to be "on watch." I remember being afraid something was going to happen to him. But, soon realized he was protecting us, watching.( Just like he does now still with me. He's always with me in the chemo lab...........watching. Ready to make a move for any need I may have. I love him so much.) Anyway, As I grew older I educated myself on them by watching the weather channel and had a fleeting moment where I wanted to be a meteorologist (no one probably knows that in my family). But, after researching all the science classes you had to take to get that degree that thought left my mind quickly. ha I thought you could just stand in front of the camera and read the report to the viewers and dress cute. ha. Doesn't work that way these days. I also have always loved to plant things. I enjoy the tediousness of having to water things and watch them grow. Taking care of things. But, since cancer, I can say that I am not scared of storms at all anymore. In fact, I'd just soon stand out in one and watch it!!! We have a joke around our family that Stan and I are the only people that actually love hail!!! (He owns a roofing business) So, when it hails we always laugh and say it is like money falling out of the sky to us. I love Stan so much. He is my rock..........
I have also been to a wedding of someone very close to me and been to a funeral in the past month. I cansay they were both extremely emotional for me and I spent a lot of time in tears. But, so grateful I was here to go to both. They both stirred emotions in me and fears. But, I made it through.

I guess the reason I titled this blog entry a love/hate realtionship with Spring is that all my life changing events I have experienced have occured in the springtime. The good and the bad. I wont list them all, but the most major are cancer and my chidlren's births. I was first diagnosed with cancer May 21, 2009, had my surgeries in June 2009 and started my first chemo. Then my cancer came back in May 2011. The other morning I woke up to my neighbor mowing his lawn. I had a flashback to springtime 2009. I would lay in bed after my bilateral masectomies unable to move and would hear him mowing. I would look out my window and watch him. He has no idea. It gave me peace to see that life was going on. I haven't had a normal fun summer in almost three years. So, as Spring is fast approaching and when I start hearing that lawm mower in the neighborhood and see things blooming I get a little nervous. But, the best things that EVER happened to me were in the spring too. Allie was born April 20, 1996 AND Cole was born April 6, 2006. So, you can see why I love it and hate it. But, I can tell you this. Last week I went in to my oncologist here for my monthly infusion of Herceptin and my liver bloodwork it was all good!! He even checked my tumor markers and they were good. (I didn't know he was checking those. I am glad I didn't because I would have been worried sick about the results. I think my doc is figuring me out. ha) So, now I am planning on going back to Houston the week of April 25th. We will be there for my three month check up. Same routine everytime. Scans, docs, blood, and needles. But, until then I have two birthday parties to plan!!!!! I am so grateful that I am albe to do this. Allie turns 16 on the 20th of April and will be driving!!! Cole turns 6 years old on Good Friday!!! Plus, we have Easter to celelbrate in between! So, I am going to buckle in and enjoy this ride for the next three weeks. I promise myself to enjoy every moment and even if it storms I will celebrate!!! I am alive!!! I have energy and I have lots of love. Thank you all who read. You really have no idea how much your prayers and support mean to me and my family............it's everything. Thanks be mostly to my Lord Jesus Christ. It's all because of Him that I am even still here and able to do the things I do. I love Him and am glad I am His child. Now, go have a good day. Enjoy every moment. Find good in everything.
staying in prayer and trying to stay in positive: kristi ~ still a survivor

All Clear..........and two big hugs!

Just to update everyone. Stan and I got back from Houston late Wednesday. After three days of testing and doctor's apts. we finally got results on Tuesday that I am clear. Scans were good, blood tumor markers are good and my liver has grown completely back! It was a long few days to say the least, as it always is, but, only those with cancer know the agony of waiting for that doctor to come in the room with results..........But, God's will was that I remain clear! So, now I go back every three months and check again for at least two years. But, that's okay. I will stay on my oral chemo as well. One chemo I will take four more cycles of and the other for a year daily. I will also continue getting infusions of Herceptin once every three weeks. God willing this "cocktail" will keep the cancer away. We are so relieved. The chemo is not hard, but it is making me retain water and causing some skin problems, but, you know what, that is OK!!! Both of my oncologists that I saw hugged me! I did not want to let go! Stan was amazing as always and kept it together even though I know he was just as scared as I was. So, I am once again on my knees thanking God. I love you Jesus! I love my family! So, I am going to try and get back into my life and not let this cancer control my every thought. I ask for prayer for that. I love all of you that read and I am beyond grateful for your prayers. staying in prayer and positive, kristi