The doctor gave me permission yesterday to pick up Cole and carry him. I must admit, that has been the most heartbreaking part of this whole deal.........and not being able to do the things for my family that I normally do. Just the little things like packing Allie's suitcase or sweeping my kitchen floor, folding their clothes, loading my dishwasher, giving my son a bath, even washing my own hair. My Allie cat has really stepped up and been such a trooper through this whole thing. She is thirteen and has been so wonderful to me the past week. She has done things without me even having to ask. I told her the other night that I was "sorry, I haven't been able to help you with all your stuff like I normally do." and she said, "Mom, it has actually been kinda good because I have learned to do it myself!" And then I thought, you know what, I have done something right!! And my MOM. Thank you Jesus for letting me be this woman's daughter! My wonderful, beautiful mother has been by me the whole time. The first night home from surgery she slept on the floor beside me! I couldn't have anyone in the bed with me because of all the movement and I did not want to be alone. Stan had to help Cole get to sleep, so my precious Mother drags her bedding in the room and just curls up on the floor beside me. Just having her in there allowed me to go to sleep. She kept my household going as well. Laundry, feeding my family, running my daughter around, taking Cole to play, etc. I am a lucky girl.
So , I am now driving and picking up my little Cole in my arms! Something I so took for granted before has now become a luxury and privilage to me. I also want to thank my husband Stan who has been my cheerleader through the past two weeks. He has kept me focused on the positive. He refused to allow me to lay in the darkness during the day and wallow in self pity, which is what I would be prone to do. He made me get up and drage myself outside on the porch in the light. He reminded me that Satan is in the dark. God is in the light. Is attitude of gratitude has been a blessing to me and I am so glad God put him on this journey with me. The journey isn't over yet, but, I am so grateful to have such an awesome support group. I will never take any of these little things for granted again!
To everyone who reads this; girls, go get a mammogram. Boys: make your wives, moms, sisters, aunts, any female in your family go get one. Mine saved my life! or at least made it a lot longer than it would have been!!!! Do it for me!! love you all, kristi
