Chemo #1

Yesterday a 9:30 a.m. Stan and I headed up to the Texas Cancer Center for my first treatment. I was scared, but knew what I had to do. I was fully geared with my Bible, motivational books, cross in my pocket and my "lucky" flip flops that Allie had given me when I was in the hospital. I had pictures of my kids in my bag to look at as well and my phone to keep in touch while I was getting the "treatment." First, I had to go do blood tests and talk to the doctor. He tells me that my blood counts are good and my bone scans came back clear so I am ready..So ,we go back to the "room" where all this is to take place. It is strange walking in that room. All these people are sitting in, what look like some sort of recliner chairs, and they are all hooked up to i.v.s and wearing their everyday clothes. Some of the people are reading some are watching t.v. Others are sleeping and some are just sitting there. I automatically have this connection to each of them as I choose my chair. Just by our eyes meeting we are connected. It is so strange. It is like we have this bond of knowing what is going on that no one that has never done this could possibly have. I pick my "treatment" chair. My friend Stacey and Stan are with me. The nurse comes and hooks up my i.v. and is sweet, but, I can tell she has done this probalby 10,000 times. She first gives me a sedative, then some anti nauseau medicine and then we wait for the pharmacy to mix up my medicine..........AS I am waiting I am still thinking that I don't have to do this if I don't want to. I really could leave any time. But, then I get my pics out of my kids and open my bible and a peace comes over me. And I know that I am okay. Everyone else that is getting their chemo looks fairly calm. I must be the only first timer there. I am definatley the youngest. Stan and Stacey are making me laugh. Then the nurse comes with the three bags of medicine. I have to do one at a time to make sure I have no allergic reactions. This is a four hour process. So, we are in for a long day in the recliner. She starts the first. I am waiting for some kind of fire to run through out my body, but it doesn't. I am not sure why I thought this would happen. First bag goes well. I am looking at the bag reading all the warnings on it as it is dripping into my body. It says WARNING: DO NOT TOUCH CONTENTS IF BROKEN!!! I am thinking "this is what is going into my bloodstream right now." So, I get out my Bible again and quit reading the bag. The other two bags go well too. I felt nothing. I got a headache, but that was it. So, we are done and they send me on my merry way. First treatment in my body now. No turning back. What happens will happen right? They loaded me up with anti nauseau perscripts which are working. No sickness as of yet at all!!! I feel fatigued and a little irritable, but that is okay. So, we will see. I am trying not to think about it running through my body. I am just continuing to thank God for answering prayer and covering me with His feathers, which is what is happening. I am amazed. Praying for God to continue to bless all of you that are praying for us!!! love you so much