staying positive

I am trying to stay positive...........the good things that came from my first oncologist visit are these: I liked the doctor, his staff and nurses were wonderful and he said I won't be doing the "red devil" chemo..( I am glad I had never heard of this because I would have been worried about it the whole time).....but, I am doing chemo and it won't be easy, but will be doable. (is that a word?) Effects everyone differently. Oh yeah, I only have to do six rounds! The name of the chemo is carboplatin taxotere. I am thinking I can do six, right?? I will do a treatment once every three weeks. So, I should be done by Thanksgiving............good thing. I am going to have to have a port put on my body. That is okay, because that should keep them from messing up all my veins. I am also doing a drug called Herceptin once a week for a year via the port. This drug is NOT supposed to be hard. I am also going to take Tamoxifin to stop my estrogen which will probalby throw me into menopause, but hey, I can do that. I just want to be here............So, I have three, count them three, drugs that are going to be battling for me to save my life. I am thinking God that my cancer is a candidate for all three because some are not. I got my hair cut yesterday short. So, I am preparing for that. Thought it would be less drastic when it falls out if it wasn't so long. I have really thick hair. I have ordered all my little bandanas, hair scarves, so I am ready....... I have to go do bone scans, etc. tomorrow and go to "chemo school." What the heck that is I have no idea........
So, I am okay............I have a plan and those that know me well, know that I do very well with a plan...I just hope it sticks. Of course, I am completely scared out of my mind of this chemo stuff, but I have no choice. I also know that I am closer to God than I ever have been and He alone is all I need to make it through. He has put some wonderful people in my life the past three weeks that have been in my shoes and are such an inspiration to me and supporters. I am now part of a whole new sisterhood one of them told me. I love these sisters...they stick together. So, my prayer is for me to breeze through these next 18 weeks and for me not to be a burden on my family. My amazing family. Bless their hearts. I love them so much. If it wasn't for my Stan I would probably be on a plane for Mexico, but he is keeping me grounded.........Thanks to all of you prayer warriors. I pray for you everyday and know that without you I would have no strength. I love you all.