Thankful for my limp

As I prepare for my trip this coming week to Houston, MDAnderson, I am limping around my house......trying to do laundry......took both of my kids to the doctor in the past two days.....limping in the middle of the night to get Cole a breathing treatment........limping down the Walgreens aisle that sells crutches........trying to get my house in order to be empty for a week, etc. and I am soooooooooo grateful for every bit of it. I hurt my knee at Relay for Life last Friday night. I am gonna try to not complain......but, dang, it HURTS!!! I usually can mask my pain and ailments, but this one I am having trouble with. After almost a year of preparing this year for Relay for Life 2013, we pulled it off last Friday night at ACU. I was so honored to have been asked to be on the committee this year and although it was a lot of work, I enjoyed every minute of it. We did a flash mob zumba dance thingy and that is what has hurt my knee. We practiced for a week for this and I have not ever used muscles in my life that I used for this dance. My cheerleading days are loooooong gone and my brain didn't know that. But, what fun I had dancing with my daughters, niece, sis and mom and all my friends!!! So, I am hoping and praying that I have not done something that will require anything more than some extra pain meds and a wrap and occasional crutches, but we shall see. As I limped my little Cole into the doctor's office two days ago I realized how lucky I really am. Cole was running 102.7 fever and his throat was covered in white and red nasty things. As I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting, I realized I was grateful for strep throat. As I limped back and forth to the bathroom with Cole, at least 3 times, trying to get him to pee in the cup, I realized that I can do all this with my limp. When the doctor confirmed it was strep I was so grateful for it. I was grateful for it because my mind immediately went back to Friday night to the two little girls I had lead the survivor lap. Callie and Landry. Little girls that haven't even reached the age yet that requires double digits. Little girls that have been fighting for their little lives sooo long. I have been praying for these two little princesses for a very long time and finally got to meet them Friday night at ACU. Looking at them you wouldn't even know they were sick. Beautiful little girls with a ton of family love surrounding them like a big white fluffy cloud. As I knelt down Friday to get eye level with them I was beyond humbled. I felt like I knew them. There was a connection they don't even realize because I know all the physical stuff they have been through. I am glad I had on my sunshades because I was full of tears. I met their parents as well. I can't even put into words what that felt like.......meeting their parents. Knowing what I have experienced with chemo and fear made me feel some connection to Callie and Landry. But, I can NOT EVEN phathom what these parents go through. Their eyes were full of a fear I have never known. They were also full of such pride and joy as they watched their little baby girls lead all the survivors. As scary and confusing as cancer is to me, as an adult, and the fear of leaving my kids without a mom possibly one day is ONLY topped by the fear of losing my child. And as we came around the end of the survivor lap I saw Rex Fleming's Dad. Rex lost his fight not too long ago. He was just a little boy. I don't really have any words because I don't understand why these little children have to get cancer. I know there has to be a reason, but it is just so unfair. It's easy to think my cancer may have come from something I may have been exposed to in my life or eaten, but I have had a full life. They are just little innocent children. So, as I was limping Cole back to the car and giving Cole his medicine I thanked God for his strep throat. As I sat with my beautiful Allie the next day because she was sick too, I was grateful she only needed cough meds and antibiotic. If you have healthy children I want you to thank God for their health today. And as I will inevitably see sick kids next week at MDA, I am gonna be grateful for my kids strep throat. Don't take a day for granted because it can all change in the blink of an eye. So, those of you that pray for me and my checkups next week please add in your prayers these two little girls and their parents. I know the only way they are able to do what they do at all is because of the power of prayer. still a survivor-Kristi