Eye to Eye

It has been a long week to say the least. Stan and I spent three LONG days at MDAnderson and got home last night. The first day was spent doing tests all day. That entails a lot of waiting, fasting, needles and drinking yucky stuff. I had a full blown panic attack in the i.v. room because the nurse could not find my vein and was about to kill me. I don't know what happened. The next thing I know I am shoeless, laying back in my reclining chair with an alcohol pad under my nose and a wet rag on my head and my beautiful scrub top is soaking wet. Stan was just looking at my like I had lost it. When it passed, we laughed because the three ladies that were in there with me (who were at least 90 years old) in wheelchairs didn't even flinch with their i.v. ha. who knows???? Then I go back to the big machine. Those of you that have done this know what it's like and if you haven't I can't explain it. The next day we go see the first doctor. My breast cancer doctor. Dr. Valero. I love this man. He came in and updated me on my prognosis and I can tell he has a genuine concern. He speaks with what I think is a Columbian accent so I have to listen very closely to understand him. He shows me my scans and how the tumor has shrunk. Before and after pictures. He tells me that he is pleased with the results of my chemo. He also tells me that there was only a 5 percent chance the chemo would have gotten rid of it completley; a 50 percent chance the chemo would not have worked at all; and a 45 percent chance it would have shrunk. (which is what it did) He tells me I am a lucky girl:) I'm glad I didn't know these percentages pre chemo or I would have been worried the WHOLE time. We discuss that we will continue with our plan to remove it and I will see my liver oncologist surgeon the next day. So, Stan and I are once again relieved. We go out to dinner that night and drive around and just relax. The next day we wake up and my apt. with Dr. Curly is not until 12:30. So, I am so anxious and just can not sit around the room. I decide I am going to walk around the hospital. Stan stays in the room and I go just walking around inside. Up and down halls. This place is so massive I just am in awe at all the people. I read that over 18,000 people work here. I am thinking I have to be in the right place. I see women pushing their children in wheelchairs, people with such desperation in their eyes, people with hope in their eyes, people rejoicing of good news they just received, people that looked scared to death and am just so humbled by all of it. I decide to go to the chapel and go bebopping on in without looking at the schedule of events outside the door. I go in and there is a man speaking to a room full of men and women dressed in suits. I sit down and listen to his sermon. I realize that these are all the chaplins at MDA. The sermon was one that I needed to hear. I then head back to the hotel via the skybridge and get Stan. We walk to the other wing to go meet with the liver doctor. When we get to see him he tells me that he wants to wait at least two more weeks because my liver is inflamed still from the chemo and he won't touch it until it has healed. This is very normal. He explains to us that he is going to remove 55 percent of it! This kind of freaked me out, but he said it grows back. I am asking him all my questions on my list I brought. He is so nice and answers them all. At the end of my questions I ask him, "So, this is what I need to do to prolonge my life?" He said, "Yes, we wouldn't be meeting if it wasn't. You will see other things that can be done if you research, but this is the best for you Kristi." Then Stan asks him how many he has done. He says he has done over 2,000! I look the doctor in the eye and I say, "If I was your daughter what would you do?" He then looked me in the eye with tears in his and he said,"It would be coming out!" I look at Stan and say, "That's all I needed to know." Dr. Curly then shook my hand and said, "I am so sorry that you need my services." So, now we go back October 5th and surgery is scheduled for the 6th. I was so happy to get home and see my family. Thanks again to ALL of you who read and pray for us. It's gonna be a long, hard recovery, but I am up for the challenge. God is faithful. God is constant. God is all over MDAnderson. Please pray for all those people there. I am so grateful for that place. If everyone could just go spend one day there and walk around like I did you would never be the same again. Count your blessings! Be grateful for your health and your family's health. I love each of you.